Friday, May 29, 2009

Why I LOVE HATE LOVE Co-Sleeping

1. My nipples can now stretch from my side of the bed to San Diego (and now that I'm no longer living in California, that's really far away). This will really come in handy for when she's old enough to jump rope.

2. I get to sleep with one leg dangling off my bed. Try it, you just might like it.

3. She often gets a Lazy Latch. Which is great, if I want my nipple to be shaped like lipstick. And I totally do.

4. I have two states of sleep: warm and cozy heavenly sleep; OR, more commonly: fitful, baby's-pushing-me-off-the-bed sleep.

5. She does have better morning breath than my husband.

6. Being kicked and punched by my 6-month old in my sleep makes me have dreams that I'm fighting Jackie Chan. At least in my dream, I'm winning.

7. 3am diaper blow-outs are now considered 'family bonding time'.

8. We get to put all her baby furniture on craigslist and rent her room to a boarder.

9. CHOOSE ONE: I get to look forward to her upcoming crib transition OR I get to have a pajama party with my daughter every night for 18 years.

10. I am no longer the only one to wake up in a puddle of my own breastmilk {serves her right}.

11. When I lay down at night I get to lay on one side. And play a game where I try not to move for the entire night. This is great because even if I never fall asleep, at least my arm and leg get to.

12. I get to have one breast smaller than the other because I'm just to lazy to make her switch sides in the middle of the night.

13. I get to sleep in this position. It's very comfortable:

14. Friends and family get to give me all kinds of unsolicited advice, then shake their head at me when I write posts like this.

15. And, my REAL reason I LOVE to co-sleep: Every night she sleeps in one of two positions:

- Either hugging my breast, or

- Using it as a pillow :)

(I would include a photo, but I promised my mom no more internet nudity)


tracy said...


3am diaper blow-outs are now considered 'family bonding time'.


oh the memories


becca said...

You have just made me:
1. Pat myself on the back happy that i chose not to co-sleep
2. Feel really sad that I never co-slept with my kids

Loved it...

Lyndsey said...

Hilarious posting!
My LO has just started waking me up with punches and kicks that will seriously knock your breath away. *sigh* Once he even gave me a hickey on my breast because he was too lazy to latch on correctly, and I was too tired to complain :-)

Anonymous said...

I love you Katy,
great post!


Becca Powell said...

This brings back memories. I still love for our daughter to sleep with us.

The Knutson Klan said...

#3, #12, and #14 are my faves! You're hilarious! I am on baby number four, and have done this with two of my babies. Some need it, some don't.

SAHM4now said...

Great post. I loved #3.

I am tagging you. Play along if you like.

Clueless_Mama said...

this was a great post. It so sounds like my life. I hear about co-sleeping everytime my in laws talk to me. I love it though and don't care what others may think. This was too funny! Love your writing :)