Tuesday, March 3, 2009

What I Didn't Know...

I made a little list about what I knew about being parent before I became one and what I didn't know:

I knew that I would hate getting parenting advice as much as I do.

I knew I would love my baby more than I could have realized before her.

I knew that whatever we were dealt, we'd be able to handle it. So I never worried about it.

I knew the newborn stage wouldn't be my favorite.

I thought my baby would sleep more.

I thought she would cry less.

I never expected to not feel like a normal person or to not get dressed in the morning.

Or to not put on make-up or shower daily.

I didn't realize how judgmental I had been about moms prior to me becoming a mom.

I didn't realize that I strongly prefer the attachment parenting style over traditional.

I didn't know that a baby could hate her car seat so much.

I didn't know that that would greatly impact where we could feasibly take her.

I didn't know that it's an uncontrollable mommy instinct to want her covered in a blanket whenever she sleeps. Or whenever she isn't wearing pants. Or socks. Or whenever it was less than 72 degrees in the house.

I didn't know that only an hour or two of crying could be a 'good day'.

I didn't know I would feel so alone.

I didn't know that even when Rob and I are both home, I would be the one really responsible for her.

I didn't know I would prefer it that way.

I didn't know she would like my boobs so much.

I didn't know I would rely on my husband to take care of me so much.

I didn't know how protective of her I would feel.

I didn't know how little I would care about things that used to take up so much of my time.

I didn't know that her cry could instantly make me do the same.

I didn't know how annoyed I would feel at my husband for doing something like, coughing, when she was trying to sleep.

I didn't know that there would be days where I would be the only one that could console her. Or play with her. Or hold her for more than 10 minutes.

I didn't know she could consider 30 minutes a good night's sleep.

I didn't know that she would cause me to not want another.

I didn't know how important my mommy friendships would become.

I didn't know how much I would look forward to my weekdays alone with her.

I didn't know I would ever co-sleep. Or use a sleep positioner. Or a blanket in her bassinet.

I didn't know how little the birth experience matters in the long run.

I didn't know I would get a look of 'congratulations on joining the club' from every older woman I pass in the store.

I didn't know how hungry I would be while breastfeeding.

I didn't know it would literally take me all morning to leave the house.

I didn't know I could cry just thinking about how wonderful, beautiful and important she is to me.

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