Thursday, March 12, 2009

We Cuss at our Baby

I once sat in a Marriage and Family class in college and the professor showed us a graph of life satisfaction over the lifespan. Generally, people are pretty happy when they get married and that happiness dips significantly when they have young children. Life satisfaction then gradually increases until said children are teenagers, when it dips again. As a naive college student, I was determined that this wouldn't happen to me. Sure, I reasoned, having kids is hard, but they are also a joy, aren't they? Otherwise people would never have a second, or a third, or an eighteenth...

What a fool I was. Sleepless nights. Walking for hours with a crying baby. The worrying when they're sick. Packing like you're taking a long vacation just to go to the store. And I've just gotten started in this parenting gig.

The intention of this site is by no means to give anyone advice on parenting. Good lord- I am by no means qualified for that. However, I have to say that my husband and I have taken a unique, yet effective strategy to ensure our mental health.

We cuss at our baby. Yes, we cuss at her. Dropping the occassional, good-natured F-bomb at a baby does wonders for your mood and your relationship. This seemingly ghastly gesture is so over-the-top that when you're in the midst of baby hell, all you can do is cuss and then laugh about it.

We discovered this little nugget of brilliance when one night, after several nights of a baby that woke every hour to eat or cry or play, we just couldn't take it any more. And my poor, frustrated husband said something about "...this f*cking baby..." and I cracked up. I didn't just laugh- it was an all-out, rolling on the floor laughter. Of course my husband laughed, not able to believe what he'd just said. We both relaxed just a little and got back to the business of calming our little sweetheart.

It even helps the baby. We once were playing an 'eat the piggies game' (where I 'eat' her toes) when she started crying all of a sudden, for no reason that was apparent to me. Frustrated, I held her facing me in my lap and in a calm and playful voice, said, "you're-such-a-pain-in-the-ass!" And I laughed. My husband laughed. It was all we could do. Then Lily stopped crying and laughed along with us. Of course that made us laugh harder, and she followed suit.

I guess my point is not so much about cussing at our baby, but more about laughing over all the crappy crap we have to go through as parents. Yes, billions of people have done this before us. And they all survived the craziness, and we'll survive too. But, somewhere along the way, you have to make a decision. Do you let the crappiness ruin you? Do you let it affect your relationship? Make you unhappy sleepy glob? Of course not. When at your most frustrated, all you can do is laugh. Well, laugh and cuss.


mommyalo32 said...

Haha! This is great! We do the same thing. Hubby says if we just say things sweetly, she won't even know! lol.

Katy said...

Yeh, that's our philosophy too. Our goal is to stop this before she turns one, don't really want Lily calling me an "f-ing mommy". lol!

Anonymous said...

This is one of the funniest blogs I have ever read. AND CHRIST, is it true! Katy you are fab.

katymccarrick said...

Thanks, Alie! ;) Come back often!

Mom's Fortress of Solitude said...

Oh I remember those days all too well. Take it from a seasoned vet at this Mommy thing, though . . . come up with some off the wall expressions that would seem to fit into every day conversation, should the baby ever repeat you. It can happen way before the one year mark.

For instance, I stubbed my toe really hard one day and screamed through gritted teeth, "Oh Sh%* that hurts like a SOB!" I never thought anything of it since my baby was playing in his room down the hall.

Two weeks later, we went to the doc's office for his one year check-up. Poor thing had to get two shots, so I was definitely expecting tears.

Instead, after the nurse finished the inoculations, I was horrified to hear from my 11 month old, "Owe Sit! Dat hut wike a sumbich!" ;o)

16 years and 4 kids later, I've learned the hard way to tone it down quite a bit.

Sweet Words said...

Oh wow... do I ever remember doing the exact same thing, hubby too. Now Sweet Baby is 2.5 years, and repeats everything, so no more cussing at the baby for us. We spell a lot now!! lol

Love this post!!